Trad Life Yearnings: Whips, Chains & Ballgags

Trad Life Yearnings: Whips, Chains & Ballgags

I have a theory, it might be a “little” bit far out, but I hope you will consider its merits nonetheless. It seems to me that at least part of the increasing popularity of BDSM can be explained by a deep-seated yearning for traditional relationships. Now, I know that on its face this sounds far-fetched. I will go into details below, as well as fleshing out counter-arguments.

First of all, why would I think that there could exist a link between the increasing prevalence of BDSM and a longing for traditional relationships with classical gender roles? I first got the idea from looking at my own relationship to these two “subjects”. Unfortunately, it took me a long time to discover the merits of traditional values in relationships. Surrounded by a cultural Marxist society infested with virulent feminism and weakening Western cultural identity, I went with the flow. I questioned the merits of pursuing a marriage and especially children. I thought that children were costly, time consuming and probably not worth the effort. Hedonistic pleasure seeking seemed the way to go, especially if we look at what consumerist culture was pushing. Certainly, taking exotic vacations spanning multiple weeks would be more fulfilling than leaving a legacy of flesh and blood, the newspaper ads told us.

As I’ve explained elsewhere on this blog, the rise of Western cultural awareness that grew from the successes of the Trump movement influenced me greatly. The ideas found especially on the outer edges, the Alt-Right edge to be precise have been influential. I’m now happy to tell you that I’ve “converted” into wanting a traditional marriage with as many children as I can afford, as opposed to aimless consumerist excesses fuelled by money that would have been used for child rearing.

That being said, I’ve also had an attraction to BDSM since adolescence. That brings me to the core of my theorizing. I believe that my attraction to BDSM can be viewed as a proxy for wanting traditional gender roles, as opposed to the dominant fake-equality brought to us by radical feminists. Pornographic material of this nature was the only arena in which I saw men displaying dominant behavior and women being submissive. You could say that it was a “glitch” in the Matrix showing me men being men and women being women. One particular aspect I wish to point out is the positive chemistry and response between the man and woman. The dominant man brings out the submissive side of the woman. They both get their needs met and complement each other’s roles perfectly. Through their actions they are stronger than the sum of their parts. To me this is an apt metaphor for the benefits gained by traditional gender roles compared to the androgynous ill-defined directionless behavior seen in most modern relationships. The fight over power, distribution of chores and money and so on that unfortunately characterizes relationships today is an affront to nature and sound mental health and well-being.

I’ve also heard the statistic that Republicans and Christians are more “kinky” than their liberal counterparts. Viewed through the lens of r/K selection theory this appears to back up my point. “K”-people (most Republicans) certainly display an affinity for traditional values to a much greater extent than Democrats/liberals (“r”-people). At least on the surface there appears to be a causal link between valuing and applying traditional values and kinky behavior. Certainly, this link isn’t necessarily super strong, but it goes beyond any statistical noise or randomness.

What about Fifty Shades? An insanely popular phenomenon with young women across the Western world, it seems to spit in the face of feminist egalitarian ideals. The relationship between the two protagonists certainly isn’t equal, the man is rich, powerful and influential and she isn’t any of those. For all its literary flaws and problems with the story, it tells of the triumph of marriage and having children over hedonistic directionless pleasure seeking behavior. Isn’t that at least something?

Obviously, this theory is flawed and imperfect. It doesn’t explain the link between LGBT/kink community and BDSM. The degenerate displays of fetish gear at pride marches aren’t displays of traditional values in any sense. But we must consider the difference between vocal minority of LGBT/pride events and their displays of affinity for BDSM and the “silent majority” of Republican/Christians practicing it in the privacy of their bedrooms. I’m perfectly willing to concede that I might be completely wrong on this topic, the causal link between BDSM and traditional values isn’t overwhelming. This isn’t a case of clear conclusions being able to be formed based on statistical evidence. But I remain convinced that there is enough there to spark some thoughts.

 

 

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