Various internet forums often give the following advice to men: “Prior to going on a date, you should “take care of business” to clear your mind”. This sage advice recognizes that men’s judgment and critical thinking faculties are somewhat compromised when hormones are raging. This in effect causes you to not judge your potential mate as objectively and critically as you should. Flaws are overlooked in favor of “boobs!, high cheekbones!, luscious hair!, dat ass!”. Rubbing one out before engaging in courtship is therefore a valid solution to this problem.
Pornography has a mixed reputation in the political discussion sphere. The left generally is in favor of it, due to their views on sexual freedom. The right, especially religious people and traditionalists are generally opposed. Recently I’ve moved towards the cultural analysis of the right and traditionalists specifically. Yet, I’m a user of porn, a quite frequent user as a matter of fact. How can I reconcile this? I recently listened to Patrik Wincent on the Rubin Report talking about porn addiction. He also talked about addiction to technology, mobile phones, social media and so on. I’m questioning myself whether or not I’m a porn addict. I certainly use porn frequently, but does it meet the definition of addiction? I don’t believe that my porn consumption gets in the way of other pursuits. I’m successful at my job, I exercise regularly, I eat healthy food and I spend a lot of time reading books and working on this blog. The time spent on porn does not get in the way of these activities.
If I didn’t watch porn, I could just as easily spend that time watching random videos on YouTube or something similar. Sometimes, not infrequently in fact I “forget” to have some “alone time” with the naked ladies. If I fancy a round of Civilization VI for instance, I suddenly realize that hour upon hour has passed. Does this meet the definitional criteria of addiction? It doesn’t harm my other pursuits, and I’m perfectly capable of going without (for a time). The biggest argument anti-porn advocates might put forward is that it hampers your ability to form a real, meaningful relationship. Looking at where I’m at in life, I would not be pursuing a long term relationship sans porn. I’m still “finding” myself and coming to terms with who I am and who I want to be in the future. In fact I think a compelling case can be made in favor of watching porn for those on the right.
In a sense, I find that watching (a lot) of pornography desensitized one to beauty, especially beauty in the perfectly made-up, fancy clothes way. Consuming porn gets the craving for such things “out of the system”. An analogy could be the feeling that I’ve experienced a place I would like to travel to through videos, books and other media about the location. I thus clear my mind to look objectively at people I’m going to date and pursue a relationship with. I find myself more and more drawn towards wanting a traditional relationship, in terms of gender roles, wanting children and so on. I believe that getting distractions such as the desire for novelty in terms of looks, fetishized clothing, fake tits and so on out of the system is extremely beneficial in terms of eventually attaining a traditional relationship.
Another example can be found in my recent weight loss. I’ve just completed a four month weight loss regimen. As a reward to myself, I’ve eaten highly calorific comfort food for about a week. At the end of the week, I found myself growing tired of the endless calorific indulgence. I wanted to return to my healthy regimen. In other words, I got the sweet tooth cravings out of my system. The result is that it will be easier to follow the healthy food regimen that will allow me to maintain my weight loss gains. I think that getting it out of your system is a useful framework for looking at vices.