Guilty as charged. I used to be one of “them”. The men suffering from a failure to launch, seduced by modern cultural marxist inspired mainstream culture. Those viewing children and babies as annoying, time consuming, resource draining and a ball and chain on your opportunities for living an exciting and fulfilling life. I was firmly in the aspiring “DINK” (dual income no kids) category. In holding these views, I was a conformist. The birth rates amongst natives in Western countries is surprisingly low.
If we stop for a moment and think, we realize that the only reason anyone of us is here today is that our ancestors created our grandparents. They in turn created our parents, who created us. This unbroken chain goes back thousands of years. It should therefore be rather disturbing that so many of us want to and plan to become “Darwinian dead-ends”. Speaking for myself, what were the chief reasons behind my stance on procreation? Certainly, the culture surrounding me throughout my life had a major impact. The second part of the equation would be my parents. They have one biological child (me) and one adopted child. Looking back at my childhood and upbringing, I can see how the view that children don’t lead to marital happiness became imprinted in me.
That being said, I didn’t have an unhappy childhood. I was never subjected to any form of parental abuse or neglect. What I did see however was the drudgery and boredom of domestic routine. My parents never (or almost never) did anything exciting as a couple. They each did their own things separately and apart from family vacations we didn’t do much together. I thus lack some of the positive experiences that should come together with a happy family life. That a desire for a childfree lifestyle should be the result shouldn’t surprise anyone. Television, movies (containing mostly American content) and so on certainly didn’t do anything to make me question this choice. We can see this influence all over the West.
In addition to all this I also lacked the natural desire to “couple up” and find a partner. Having a girlfriend was actually rather uncommon amongst my peers throughout my years in school. I was happy on my own and didn’t see any particular reason for spending significant time and effort on pursuing a woman without any guaranteed “return on (time) investment”. Any sexual desire I was perfectly capable of “taking care of” on my own. I don’t think I was particularly unusual compared to young men today.
This brings us to the core of the story. Listening to podcasts by Stefan Molyneux over the years laid the foundation for my recent dramatic change on the question of having children. His arguments steadily over time got under my skin and started thought processes deep down in my subconscious mind. The arguments with the greatest effect on me had to do with living while old. Without children, you have sentenced yourself to loneliness and the knowledge that you are the end of your lineage. After you there is no continuation. There is something inherently selfish about this. You receive taxpayer funded services without providing new taxpayers to fund the same services for others.
Over time the concept of having children has grown on me. I love the idea of having someone to continue my legacy. That I can impart my love of learning and knowledge to young humans and seeing the joy in their eyes as they experience the world. Having someone need me and appreciate all that I do for them. Knowing as I lie on my deathbed that my life mattered, and that my actions have (however slightly) changed the world for the better for future generations through imparting good values in my descendants. Linked with this transformation has been the yearning burning for a traditional wife.
In my early twenties, I was embroiled in the Men’s Rights Movement. The different aspects of inequality in society between the two sexes violated my inherent sense of fairness. The move towards wanting an “unequal” traditional relationship has thus been rather interesting. I still agree with their arguments, but I’m now happy to think about being the sole provider for the stay-at-home mother of my future children. One of the most dramatic changes I’m noticing in myself is that images of women with traditional roles, values and clothing on Twitter are becoming more arousing than pornography. I therefore want to thank the “traditional womansphere” on Twitter for their tireless work in spreading the good word.
A tremendous personal benefit of this change in beliefs has been personal growth. I had a lightbulb-over-the-head moment when I heard people talking about the necessity of becoming worthy in order to attract a traditional woman. I have since this epiphany lost a lot of weight, started eating properly, started working out and taken care of other personal issues. It is a great feeling to have a long-term purpose in life, and I draw great comfort in the knowledge that my daily activities are in pursuit of growth and a specific goal. I look forward to meeting my future wife once I have grown enough to be worthy of her. I wish that more Western men are able to break free of the shackles of the childfree mindset. The direction of our civilization depends on it.